Okay. So I have realized that I tend to obsess over the smallest things sometimes. But I’ve been getting better in overcoming them now. At least, I’d like to think so. What may mean completely nothing to someone may mean completely something to me. I know New Year’s Eve is still a couple of days away from now. And come on! Can’t I focus on Christmas first? Let me tell you: NOPE. Maybe this is linked to my teeny tiny OCD but things like this? It absolutely cannot wait until the New Year. These things need to be addressed right now, both major concerns and minor issues in my life. (Hmm… I do wonder if some people from my previous company would read this. There’s this one issue I left behind there, you see.)
Without further ado, let me present these to you:
Concern #1: Oh no I didn’t. No, I never!
There is something to be said about being involved in an office gossip so awful it made you want to resign right then and there at one point in your life. This scenario happened to me about three years ago. Until today, whenever I cross paths with former colleagues from my previous company, I know some of them still associate me with that rumor. It’s been years and years and apparently, some of them have not yet gotten over it. So I am setting the record straight NOW, over here: It was not true. Nothing happened. NOTHING. Sorry to burst your bubble but that’s all it ever was. A rumor.
Sidenote: I think the movie “Easy A” was pretty much in parallel with what happened to me in my previous company, eh?
Concern #2: Chasing a Different Chase (Oops!)
Back in the latter part of my college years, it was during my OJT (on the job training) for a post-production company that I damn near broke my neck AND tipped over the chair I was sitting on. All because I was trying desperately to catch a glimpse of my crush. He was good-looking and friendly and impossibly charming and his name was Chase. Now fast forward to somewhere near the present moment: I cannot recall exactly when but I was browsing around Twitter when I came across a user whose name was Chase. I saw that his username started with two letters, “NY”, and this got me excited because I thought it meant “New York.” This must be him! My ultimate crush from way back when! The guy I happily nearly broke my own neck for! He’s in America now and that NY probably indicated where in America he is right now! Feeling excited and giddy and happy, I started to follow said user. And then. AND THEN just pretty recently, I noticed something: That one of the bosses where I work now and the Chase I was following in Twitter? SAME GUY. I was following a different Chase in Twitter. I would’ve been crushed, heartbroken, infinitely in anguish. Except that I got sidetracked from bemoaning my failed attempt to track down my crush from way back when. And EXCEPT THAT the Chase, the boss Chase? He’s the same person I mentioned in this post about my epic fail moments in just one day. The internet does make one’s world smaller. And I just had to pick a stellar moment to embarrass myself to a boss. Way to go, Anna! You are a star of epic fails! [To the boss Chase: True story, this one is. BUT your Twitter icon is AWESOME! :D]
Moral of the story: Know when to cross off “Private Investigator” in your list of ambitions or dreams.
Concern #3: To the guy I have dated a few months back…
Forgiveness is hard. It doesn’t matter what they say. Forgiving someone who’s hurt you in a big way is hard. But you know what’s harder? Forgetting. I’ve forgiven you, honest to God. But the forgetting part? It’s difficult. But I’ve learned so much since then and do you know one of the things I’ve learned? That anger is not the best way to deal with it. Acceptance is. Now I’ve realized how true this verse from the Bible is about love:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I may not understand everything but I do know this: Love does not make room for anger or hatred, even after something awful had come and gone. Love carries the good things but does not disregard the bad things. Love has the power to turn anything into something beautiful.
See? I didn’t have to wait until the first day of 2012 to get these off my chest, both big and small concerns. I mean, can you imagine specific issues dancing around your head while you’re
shoving food down your throat eating on New Year’s Eve? You’ll choke. Great, now I can eat in peace on December 31st. YEAH!