An Ambiguous Valentine’s Day Post

Ahh… February. The so-called Month of Love. Now people who are in love have an excuse to be cheesy/tacky and then get away with it while coming off as “sweet” and “thoughtful.”

Love is in the air...
Love is in the air...

February 14th. Valentine’s Day. A string of hearts. Serenading. Flowers! Chocolates! Dinner by candlelight! (Please don’t let me get started on how I suspect the motels here will be fully booked during that day and the days near the 14th.)

Everyone is in love. Or at least, that’s what Valentine’s Day makes you believe. And what about me? To quote from a Bright Eyes song, “Another year I claim to total indifference.” Although I have never had a boyfriend during this day, there was one guy I have dated who made it to Valentine’s Day but we never went out for some screwed reason I can no longer remember. The feeling I have right now is that the reason is screwed, ergo not valid. But I know I didn’t care, since I never was an advocate for Valentine’s Day. (My dad never fails to tell us during this time of the year that this occasion was made so that entrepreneurs could make tons of money and it did not go deeper than that. Oh, Pops, you are such a cold, cold man of reason and logic but I still love you. Please don’t forget to drive me to work tomorrow. Thanks! Much love! Mwah mwah!)

So. Back to Valentine’s Day… Which leads me to saying this: What’s a single girl verging on her thirties to do? I have options:

  1. Finally give in and go out on a date.
  2. Be in hibernate mode for that weekend and stack up on junk food, iced tea and DVDs.
  3. Sleep the weekend away.
  4. Go out with friends who are free that day and just be awesome!

My answer? I think I’m going with number two. Except. Except that I plan to start on focusing on bringing back whatever creativity I have left in my system.

Creativity, come out come out, wherever you are!
Creativity, come out come out, wherever you are!

It has been so long (way too long) since I last wrote something decent or made a collage or did something with Photoshop. I’ve been so caught up in the whirlwind of work during the weekdays and socializing during the weekends that I’ve tuned out what’s inside me. And it was an unexpected trip to a bookstore yesterday that made me vow to myself what I just stated above. I will dig my toes back into the creative sands and whip up something, even if it means soaking my brains and then hanging them out to dry afterwards.

image sources: Valentine’s Day and Creativity

Before the Grand Entrance of Prince Charming

Fire & Ice
Can opposites really attract?

Will he be the Yin to my Yang?

Will he complement me or will both of us be cut from the same cloth?

Here’s a list that gnaws at my brain:

  1. He will be into PC games and I will never understand his obsession with “Guitar Hero” or “Skyrim.”
  2. He actually reads the newspaper. (And by that I don’t mean that he skips everything else and dives right into the Entertainment/Leisure section – That would be me.) AND THEN, as if that isn’t enough, he would tweet or blog about it or post it on Facebook.
  3. He knows – REALLY knows – what Java or Ruby (or both because he is terrifically, annoyingly smart) is. He knows that Java does not only pertain to that delicious, wonderful rice.
  4. When conversing or blogging or tweeting or even posting to Instagram, he occasionally throws in words like “mordant” or “vestiges” or “anachronism” or “antebellum” and it is not to brag orĀ  make the rest of us feel bad for not taking enough time to at least use the dictionary and actually expand our vocabulary. No, he uses those words because, dude, that IS part of his language.
  5. He knows grown-up things, geeky things, smart things, things those creatures from Mars know. AND he can discuss it or debate about it for hours.
  6. And (this is the frightening part) he prefers non-fiction books over fiction. (I have a hard time picturing the two of us side by side, him reading Jacques Derrida’s works while I’m reading this book about dragons and fairies and trolls. This imagery just does not balance out.)
  7. His favorite TV programs would be somewhere along the likes of National Geographic or History Channel. I can just see how I could discuss its parallelism with my choice of TV shows such as “Supernatural” and “Chuck.” Yep, it definitely sounds like a match made in heaven.
  8. He is health conscious. Holy crap. I can see the relationship going downhill the moment I EVEN DARE put those junk food in my mouth.
  9. He’s tech savvy. He knows the latest gadgets. As he rattles off about, um, some (ahem!) latest gadget’s specs and its pros and cons and then proceeds to a passionate monologue about it, I would just gawk at him and then say, “I’m sorry. You lost me when you said [insert tech jargon of your choice here].”
  10. He is cool, calm and composed and knows how to deal with anyone and anything – from his boss to his colleagues to his mom and right down to his grandfather. (I get flustered and I panic when I’m caught off-guard by anyone. Heck. Even my sister’s dog catches me off-guard countless times with her (the dog, not my sister) crazy antics and I’m always left slack-jawed and incoherent.)

Do you see where this list is going? Now do you see why I worry?

Because the list above describes someone who is ABSOLUTELY the complete opposite of who/what I am. And believe it or not, I have never been with a relationship with someone who actually fits into any of the item in the list above. True story.

* image source: Mighty Cud

Something I Can’t Name Yet

Something is wrong with me.

This guy I was interested in about 2 weeks ago had asked for my mobile number. So we got into sending each other a series of text messages over the weekend. He asked me out and he made it clear that he too was interested.

And then.

And then suddenly I lost any interest I had when I first saw him. I came up with reasons why and I just felt like we are two really different people. He seems like a nice guy. We share the same set of friends. And as my girlfriends would point out, “He has a car.” And that is my cue to look at them, blink and then say, “So what?” SO WHAT?

I wish I could be the kind of girl who falls in love easily just because the guy is nice and sweet. But I don’t. Some girls are swept away with big, romantic gestures. Some girls blush and giggle over flattering comments from guys they like. Then there’s little old me who has a lot of guy friends but rarely fell in love. Because guess what? Apparently, as my friends would like to point out to me: I have too high a standard when it comes to men.

What?! When asked what I like in men, I answer the following:

1. Someone smart, someone who could carry a good, interesting, funny conversation. Brain exercise!
2. Someone well-versed in the english language and can carry a good conversation with anyone, whether it’s with my friends, my parents, his boss, his superiors. You know, someone quietly confident.
3. Someone who has dreams and goals and aspirations. Someone with a DIRECTION in life and takes steps to pursue that.

What, why no mention of money? Of a well-off guy? Because it’s not what my focus is in my rules of attraction. As long as the guy strives hard to keep his job and is motivated to push forward to attain his goals and dreams in life, then that’s all I want.

Attraction, relationships, romance. Such weird, weird things. WEIRD.

Or am I just the one not reacting very normally about those? :/