Three. Count them: Three. I have been told by three different people that they will set me up with someone they know. And we’re just halfway done with February, people!
What? Is being single when you’re 29 so bad?
By the third time that I was asked to go on a blind date, I spent a good proper one hour in front of the mirror, convinced that I probably had “Desperate single!” carved on my forehead and I just couldn’t see it. And so I tried to search for it only to realize that s**t, I need to have a facial soon. My face is breaking out.
If you’re wondering what happened to those attempted three blind dates, my answer to that would be this: Those three people who asked me? They’re still alive. But barely.
When asking me to go on a blind date with your friend, please take note that I do not feel flattered. I know you have good intentions (such as seeing me all happy and finally in love again) and I thank you for that. But this blind date attempts? It really doesn’t leave me with a warm, fluttery feeling. See paragraph number three, about the mirror.
If there is one thing I have come to learn and come to terms with, it’s this: Marriage is not for everyone. Pretty much like being single is not for everyone. Both take effort and struggles that do not necessarily coincide with each other but yeah. Each scenario has problems that’s all their own.
I remain single by choice because it’s where I feel I am most comfortable. Friends and people have tried and will try to apply all sorts of psychology in figuring me out, in finding reasons why oh why OH WHY am I stubbornly remaining single . They tell me this isn’t what I want. Sooner or later, I would come around and would want to find a nice young man and eventually get married and have kids. It sounds nice. It sounds like a dream. Sure, I’m not closing my doors on that option. But. But but but…
But what if that’s not for me? What if I am:
a) meant to be on my own or
b) meant to become a single mom
Then what? Would the sky fall over my head and will my life end? I think that life would go on and I would simply adapt to the situation, making the best of what’s around. And the good part? I’m wholly in my element. I know it’s where I belong, it’s where I know my own self best.
Thank You for not bringing me that guy I asked you for all those years ago. Or the one from 2008. Or ’11. Or the one from that REALLY crazy request last month.
Thank You for loving me enough to NOT answer my prayers.
Thank You for teaching me that flying solo can create the strongest wings… and that being a brave single girl is a beautiful thing.
Thank You for reminding me through my earthly father what a protective covering should REALLY be…and unclouding my vision when I am blind and can’t seem to see what’s not good for me.
Thank You for showing me when I’m settling… and when I ignore You, thank You for meddling.
Thank You for sending me guys who didn’t love me enough…to remind me of what I’m worthy of.
Thank You for standing back & allowing me to make my own mistakes and to find my own way.
And when I crashed and burned because it was the only way to REALLY learn, thanks for not saying “I told you so.”
Thank You for holding my hand, even if I can’t feel it… For collecting the pieces of my broken heart, when I’m powerless to heal it… For being my strength, when I can’t be it… For guiding my path, when it’s dark and I can’t see it.
Most of all, thank You for loving me enough to keep me to yourself a little longer…And for using my weakness to make others stronger.