Valentine’s Day for Single Women

If there is one thing I have come to learn and come to terms with, it’s this: Marriage is not for everyone. Pretty much like being single is not for everyone. Both take effort and struggles that do not necessarily coincide with each other but yeah. Each scenario has problems that’s all their own.

I remain single by choice because it’s where I feel I am most comfortable. Friends and people have tried and will try to apply all sorts of psychology in figuring me out, in finding reasons why oh why OH WHY am I stubbornly remaining single . They tell me this isn’t what I want. Sooner or later, I would come around and would want to find a nice young man and eventually get married and have kids. It sounds nice. It sounds like a dream. Sure, I’m not closing my doors on that option. But. But but but…

But what if that’s not for me? What if I am:

a) meant to be on my own or
b) meant to become a single mom

I'm single and I'm busy living my life the way I know how.

Then what? Would the sky fall over my head and will my life end? I think that life would go on and I would simply adapt to the situation, making the best of what’s around. And the good part? I’m wholly in my element. I know it’s where I belong, it’s where I know my own self best.

Dear God,

Thank You for not bringing me that guy I asked you for all those years ago. Or the one from 2008. Or ’11. Or the one from that REALLY crazy request last month.

Thank You for loving me enough to NOT answer my prayers.

Thank You for teaching me that flying solo can create the strongest wings… and that being a brave single girl is a beautiful thing.

Thank You for reminding me through my earthly father what a protective covering should REALLY be…and unclouding my vision when I am blind and can’t seem to see what’s not good for me.

Thank You for showing me when I’m settling… and when I ignore You, thank You for meddling.

Thank You for sending me guys who didn’t love me enough…to remind me of what I’m worthy of.

Thank You for standing back & allowing me to make my own mistakes and to find my own way.

And when I crashed and burned because it was the only way to REALLY learn, thanks for not saying “I told you so.”

Thank You for holding my hand, even if I can’t feel it… For collecting the pieces of my broken heart, when I’m powerless to heal it… For being my strength, when I can’t be it… For guiding my path, when it’s dark and I can’t see it.

Most of all, thank You for loving me enough to keep me to yourself a little longer…And for using my weakness to make others stronger.

I love you. Amen.

source: The Single Woman

image source: carbonated

* note: I have changed the years mentioned in the prayer above (the first paragraph).

An Ambiguous Valentine’s Day Post

Ahh… February. The so-called Month of Love. Now people who are in love have an excuse to be cheesy/tacky and then get away with it while coming off as “sweet” and “thoughtful.”

Love is in the air...

February 14th. Valentine’s Day. A string of hearts. Serenading. Flowers! Chocolates! Dinner by candlelight! (Please don’t let me get started on how I suspect the motels here will be fully booked during that day and the days near the 14th.)

Everyone is in love. Or at least, that’s what Valentine’s Day makes you believe. And what about me? To quote from a Bright Eyes song, “Another year I claim to total indifference.” Although I have never had a boyfriend during this day, there was one guy I have dated who made it to Valentine’s Day but we never went out for some screwed reason I can no longer remember. The feeling I have right now is that the reason is screwed, ergo not valid. But I know I didn’t care, since I never was an advocate for Valentine’s Day. (My dad never fails to tell us during this time of the year that this occasion was made so that entrepreneurs could make tons of money and it did not go deeper than that. Oh, Pops, you are such a cold, cold man of reason and logic but I still love you. Please don’t forget to drive me to work tomorrow. Thanks! Much love! Mwah mwah!)

So. Back to Valentine’s Day… Which leads me to saying this: What’s a single girl verging on her thirties to do? I have options:

1. Finally give in and go out on a date.
2. Be in hibernate mode for that weekend and stack up on junk food, iced tea and DVDs.
3. Sleep the weekend away.
4. Go out with friends who are free that day and just be awesome!

My answer? I think I’m going with number two. Except. Except that I plan to start on focusing on bringing back whatever creativity I have left in my system.

Creativity, come out come out, wherever you are!

It has been so long (way too long) since I last wrote something decent or made a collage or did something with Photoshop. I’ve been so caught up in the whirlwind of work during the weekdays and socializing during the weekends that I’ve tuned out what’s inside me. And it was an unexpected trip to a bookstore yesterday that made me vow to myself what I just stated above. I will dig my toes back into the creative sands and whip up something, even if it means soaking my brains and then hanging them out to dry afterwards.

image sources: Valentine’s Day and Creativity

For You to Notice

I would totally kiss you, Frog, if you promise to magically turn into Prince Charming right away.

This is the blog of a single woman in her late twenties. “Single” being the keyword here. So where are the blog posts about dating and romance? About the adventures I’ve found while on the path of finding Mr. Right?

Reader, you are not going to find them here. Sorry but you have to know: I am sadly lacking in the romance department. I’ll let you in on a little secret: I go on dates once or twice per year. And that’s already pushing the envelope.

Sometimes, I hibernate and not go out on any dates for a whole year. My record for that is three years. Yes, three. Your eyes have not deceived you. I was date-free for three years.

My family and friends are worried about me. I can’t blame them. Society pretty much imposes that a woman my age should already be thinking of settling down, if not already married and have procreated or starting to procreate. Ah, the wonderful cycle of life.

BUT. But I don’t want to date someone for the sake of conforming to society or simply because of the pressure. I can’t very well date just because, right?

You could say I’m a fatalist. I just wing it every. single. day. And you know what’s crazy or funny about that? I’m actually content and happy. Being a single woman at 29 doesn’t mean the end of the world, no matter what people say and how they make me feel about it.

Asides: But hoo boy! You should see the guys I crush on. Total hotties. Each and every one of them. Too bad I just look at them longingly from the sidelines. Ha! Which brings to mind a Dashboard Confessional song (“For You to Notice“) that is way too appropriate for my crushes:

I’m starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming
and you’d want to call me
And I would be there every time
you’d need me
I’d be there every time…
But for now I’ll look so longingly
waiting…
For you to want me, for you to need me, for you to notice me

image source: Fabulous Femininity

Something I Can’t Name Yet

Something is wrong with me.

This guy I was interested in about 2 weeks ago had asked for my mobile number. So we got into sending each other a series of text messages over the weekend. He asked me out and he made it clear that he too was interested.

And then.

And then suddenly I lost any interest I had when I first saw him. I came up with reasons why and I just felt like we are two really different people. He seems like a nice guy. We share the same set of friends. And as my girlfriends would point out, “He has a car.” And that is my cue to look at them, blink and then say, “So what?” SO WHAT?

I wish I could be the kind of girl who falls in love easily just because the guy is nice and sweet. But I don’t. Some girls are swept away with big, romantic gestures. Some girls blush and giggle over flattering comments from guys they like. Then there’s little old me who has a lot of guy friends but rarely fell in love. Because guess what? Apparently, as my friends would like to point out to me: I have too high a standard when it comes to men.

What?! When asked what I like in men, I answer the following:

1. Someone smart, someone who could carry a good, interesting, funny conversation. Brain exercise!
2. Someone well-versed in the english language and can carry a good conversation with anyone, whether it’s with my friends, my parents, his boss, his superiors. You know, someone quietly confident.
3. Someone who has dreams and goals and aspirations. Someone with a DIRECTION in life and takes steps to pursue that.

What, why no mention of money? Of a well-off guy? Because it’s not what my focus is in my rules of attraction. As long as the guy strives hard to keep his job and is motivated to push forward to attain his goals and dreams in life, then that’s all I want.

Attraction, relationships, romance. Such weird, weird things. WEIRD.

Or am I just the one not reacting very normally about those?